Note to self (It's a long note)

This is a note to self about a few work related life lessons.

I remember my college graduation like it was yesterday.

SO thrilled that I was DONE and hot as HELL in that stupid black robe in the middle of May.

Just a side note, they take your picture when you shake hands with the president (at my time in 2012, it was President Jay Gogue of Auburn University)... and um, you can totally see my spanx peeking out from underneath my dress... which is documented for all time. 

But I was so freaking happy that I didn't care. Still don't.

I spent a few days in Savannah, GA with my mom(it was my graduation present)... and it was WONDERFUL.

When I returned to Auburn, I immediately started applying to jobs. I had a good friend connect me with the owners of a photography company where I would spend the next 5 weeks in hell.

I was 23, newly graduated, and earning $9 an hour. I got manicures every week, ate out, and lived the good life for a solid month.

The bosses were so weird. They would randomly stand behind me as I edited pictures and micromanage my work, they would throw fits if I accidentally jammed the envelope machine(which I did on a regular basis... sometimes just to piss them off)

The secretary told me all of my scented lotions smelled too strong.

AND I did not have air conditioning in the part of the building I was working in. It was time to go. During my time there, I was applying to jobs every single night.

One day, a mental health company called me and asked me to come in for an interview.
I remember exactly where I was, in the Chick-fil-A drive thru. I was so excited and so unprepared for what was about to happen next.

1st of all, I thought that mental health was some part of DHR, turns out, it wasn't.

This was a job that I had just randomly applied for(that I forgot that I applied for) and it was in Auburn(where all of my friends still lived), and well... it was a job. And what a job it was.
Of course I said yes when they offered it. I mean, I needed a job.

I remember the first couple of weeks that I worked there, I was SO excited. My first real job!!! I was excited to be working and out of school, I was excited at the potential of meeting someone I could date. I was just SOOOO excited! But that feeling didn't last.

I started out at $8.36. Oh yes, you read that correctly. $8.36. My insurance totaled out to about $190 each month. And money was docked for non-opting out retirement funds.
In the summer of 2012, I got my first paycheck,  and it was $414.47. I cried. And cried and cried.
I called my mom and cried. She reassured me that it would be ok, but she had no idea that she would have to help me financially for the next 2 years.

My clients had mental issues, so, in a nutshell, they were very demanding, rude, kind, psychotic, manic, depressive... all at once or would pick a mixture of these each week.
I had clients who would take their clothes off, who would lie about me, who would throw chairs when they didn't get their paychecks, who would deal drugs, have promiscuous sex, who were in out of the hospitals, in and out of jail... you name the crazy and I will tell you who.

I was 23 and so young. I didn't know a whole lot about a whole lot.

My boss, who I will call "B", was a 60 year old stressed and anxious kind of man.
He carried this huge burden around.
He was so wound up all the time, and I am sad to say that he didn't know Jesus.
His tone was always very degrading. He was a critical kind of man. He didn't like my facial expressions. I had to leave.

I remember one story that took some time to recover from.
I went out to visit a well know client who had been in the system for years. He was known for bad behavior and drug use and did not have a case manager at the time, so I was it. I had only been working for maybe 7 months at the time.
I and his sister went to his house to see him.
I did something that I should have never done. I let him enter the house after us. When we walked in to his filth ridden home, he would not let us leave. He pushed me up against the wall grabbing my uppers arms, and even though he was a 60 something, I was scared to death. Drugs can make you stronger.
I started screaming (TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME I AM CALLING THE POLICE, TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME)
He did let me go and I ran out, but then he closed the door behind me and his sister started yelling.
I called the police, and fortunately the door opened shortly after. The sister told me he was out of his mind and the police arrived to handcuff him and take him in for drug use.

When I tried explaining why I was so shook up to "B", his response was "Well maybe you're not cut out for this job"..... there was no empathy, no consoling. Nothing.
I went home, showered, got into bed and cried and cried.

I only stayed at this job for about 18 months after this happened. I was so mentally exhausted and so ready to go.
I promised myself to never work with mental health again.

My note to self is to not have any expectations. None whatsoever... ever.

I started a temporary job a couple of months after I left the mental health job, and again... I was so excited!... only for that excitement to turn into hurt.
An insensitive boss plus working in a man's world made for an environment that I did not wish to be apart of.

So now here I am... and starting this job has been so different. I am not excited like I usually am.
And my expectations are low, and I plan to keep them there because unequal expectations equals frustration. I am glad I have ket them low.

So far I have been blessed with a great supervisor, and also some very helpful coworkers.
I have also discovered some folks that I wish to have the least amount of communication as possible.
But I do not hold it against them.... like I said, I'm keeping low expectations.

I'm also selective with whom I share personal info with. At my mental health job, I had a friend that I trusted and confided in.
Unfortunately, that friend betrayed my confidence and told another coworker some sensitive information.
She taught me, in a hurtful way, to just keep your dadgum mouth closed.

It's amazing what life will teach you in 3 years, lets see what the future will teach me.

Girl is a professional

So.... I did it!!!

I got a job that I really wanted! 

The one with the decent salary.

The one where I met all the qualifications. 

The one where I woke up at 6AM on my 26th birthday to get ready for an 8AM test at the facility. 

The one where they didn't call me back after that test. 

The one where I cried over my rejection letter.

The one where 7 months later I got a phone call out of the blue asking me to come in for an interview. 

Yea. I got that job!!

It only took 3 years after graduating for a company to hire me and pay me like I had a college degree. 

So far I'm thrilled bc finally finally I have a very wonderful supervisor. Unfortunately she is retiring in December, but I got to spend the day with her replacement and she is just as wonderful.

When I originally said yes to this position, I thought I would just be dealing with the elderly.

I thought, wow, this is going to be great and a little sad, but it will be understandable because they are old. That's what happens naturally, we age and our bodies wear out. It's very acceptable to deal with death when a senior citizen dies. I thought, sure, my heart could deal with this.

WRONG.

On week 2 I discovered that I would indeed have senior citizens that I would work with, but I would also have a 4 year old, a 34 year old, a 46 year old and others that I have not just yet met.

These people are disabled an unable to care for themselves. Some of their stories are so sad that it makes you use the "Why, God?" question.

So. Two weeks in and I'm scared. I won't lie. I feel as though death will have a new definition in the next year. I feel the same about what it means to live.

As He has done since the day I was born, I know the Lord will use this job to teach me, and I am hoping to gain more character than I could ever imagine.

In only 10 days, I am already faced with some trials. Heart trials. Trials of patience and forgiveness.

GAH I hate forgiving sometimes. Over and over and over and OVER again. But I know it is for the health of my own heart. And to be fair, I've already been forgiven too many times to count, but lets not go there. At least not today.

I am determined to do a good job and reach my full potential.
Even if I never receive praise, or no one notices, I vow to do excellently.
I did not do that at my last case management job. I was young and I was so mad about how very small my paycheck was and frustrated that my clients were mentally inept. I was done before I even started and I am not sure how I last two and a half years.
I could have done a better job but the fact is... I didn't care.
So here's to doing a better job.

I am really excited about my coworkers.
I am trying to have zero expectations at all times, but boy do I ever need friends.
Already, I have people looking out for me and being super friendly.
I'm just hoping for a lunch buddy or two. Maybe someone to share jokes with. Someone.

At my last job as a printing girl, I had a great coworker.
He was always joking and always talked about the Lord.
I sure will miss the joy he carried and his humor at this new place.
It's people like him that make going to work worth it.

Here's to this next year of life of paying off debt.

To getting to travel. 

To becoming professional.
Here's to having a good attitude.
To having grace.
To always forgiving... even when I don't want to.

Cross your fingers that a.) pay day gets here fast because I am so broke and
                                     b.) I get time off approved to spend my 27th in Seattle and Cali

Iztapalapa Wedding

So I went to Mexico for a wedding a couple of weeks ago.

I wish I could tell you that I spent a week there eating authentic food while gazing at beautiful men, but um... It wasn't quite like that. Not even close.

My tender hearted, gorgeous, amazon sister-friend, Allie, got married to a sweet, Jesus loving guy named, Memo. They met during her missionary service in Iztapalapa, Mexico, and the rest is history.

When Allie called to tell me the news I was so thrilled!
But when she told me that the wedding would be in Mexico and that she wanted me to be her maid of honor, my heart sank a little.
How was I going to tell her that I couldn't come because of financial reasons? Before I could even speak, she informed me that her parents were paying my way and were taking care of everything else.

I was so grateful and so excited to get to see where she had been living for the past 2 years and to meet the people she had been talking about in her emails.

When I arrived at the airport I was THRILLED to be greeted by a bunch of tall humans.
Allie is tall, about my height, and her family ranges from average to about 6'2. But then, her neighbors were also attending the wedding and I'm talking guys who were 6'4 and 6'7.
It was so nice to travel and be grouped with other giant individuals who have the same struggles with flying on airplanes with limited leg room.

We arrived Saturday night at around 7:30PM. Allie's wedding was at 5:30PM on Sunday.
Cue the Home Alone music when they're late to the airport.

Dinner ended at 10:30.
Allie's sisters and I stayed at her apartment and put bouquets together and did some last minute things until we all fell asleep at about 3:30AM
We arose around 7 the next morning, we were definitely tired and so incredibly thirsty. (You can't drink the water in Iztapalapa, and Al was out of fresh bottled water)

One thing that is incredibly different about Iztapalapa is that there are food venders on EVERY street corner. So naturally, when we walked out of Al's apt, we took about 200 steps before we reached a fresh orange juice vender.
He squeezed the oranges right in front of us with a steel press and pure the juice into a clear plastic bag, He then placed a straw in the bag and tied a not. The juice was so fresh and sweet. It was a perfect start. We then all bought bottled water and rehydrated.

After that, we were in go mode until Allie walked down the aisle.

A few highlights include:

1. Allie's fiancé locked the keys in the getaway car

2. The wedding party was booked to stay at a honeymoon hotel(Because prostitution is so rapid at regular hotels, and this one was nicer). There were see-thru showers, mood-lighting under the bed, gold glitter floors, and porn on almost every channel... I shared a room with Allie's aunt. Very interesting

3. Allie put on her make-up as we were heading to the wedding

4. We did not get to rehearse the wedding... people pointed to tell the wedding party where to walk

5. We couldn't speak to most people at the wedding because of the language barrier, therefore, there      was a lot smiling

6. The getaway car was decorated in a sombrero and mustache

7. Mexican Coke...so much Mexican coke

8. They had a pan flute band and played the lion king and titanic

9. Every. single. Mexican knew how to dance

10. The mountains in the background

11.When I cut a fresh hydrangea out of the garden for Allie's bouquet

12. When Allie's fiancé forgot his vows

13. When we got the 15 passenger stick shift van stuck on a hill on a major road way

14. When we realized that Allie's elderly neighbors had probably stumbled onto the porn channels

15. When Allie's dad clogged the toilet because you can't flush TP in Mexico


Overall, it was the craziest wedding I have ever been apart of and also my favorite. I wouldn't have changed that experience for anything.